When I was a young girl, and I thought about my future, I never once thought I’d be a single mum. My parents are still happily married.
I was brought up to believe that you get married and then have children, so your children are raised in a stable environment.
I never really considered that I’d be in a marriage that wasn’t actually a stable environment. Or that I would end up on my own with two children.
But life doesn’t generally follow the ideals we have mapped out in our minds, so here I am. A single mum.
My ex husband has our children regularly and the children are happy with the arrangement. They get much more quality time with him now I think.
I tend to focus hard on providing a calm home environment for them. Also, I really dislike conflict so I try my best not to get dragged into silly squabbles with my ex. It’s hard though. We didn’t break up on amicable terms at all and sometimes it seems he is determined to try to embroil me in a row over nothing much at all.
I can honestly say though that I’m never sorry that I’m on my own. I’m much happier and feel like my life and future are in safe hands. My hands.
I try hard to be a good role model. I work hard and am busy rebuilding a career for myself. I show them how to save money for treats and involve them in saving their own pocket money for toys they want.
They recently both saved up over £60 (over many months) and bought big Lego sets each.
We have a family “pot of dreams” that we save £2 coins in. This is generally then used to pay for our yearly trip to Center Parcs with my family.
I also try to make sure there is fun in our days. That we enjoy the little things together. Things like hot chocolate with marshmallows, jumping in puddles, climbing trees and jigsaws. Simple things.
There are times when it can be hard being on my own, but generally that’s when I or the children are ill. And let’s be honest, that’s bloody awful even when you have a live in partner!