Very, very gall-ing

Such a bad pun, but I couldn’t resist.

I have gallstones. Several apparently. I discovered this after a couple of outbreaks of extreme pain following rather rich meals.

After an excruciating night where I was unable to sleep and genuinely began to think I might be having a heart attack, I went to the doctor.

From there I was sent for an ultrasound and blood tests and then my doctors surgery called to ask me to arrange a phone consultation with my gp.

After a terrifying chat with my gp where he told me the risks of pancreatitis (& death) I was sent to a surgeon for another consultation, prod and scare-inducing chat.

Now I’m just awaiting my letter from the hospital to tell me when I’m going under the knife. I’m part terrified and part eager for this bit.

Eager, because being in pain a lot is pretty shitty really. Terrified, well that’s obvious!

Like a lot of people, I’m scared of hospitals. Like even more people, I’m scared of general anaesthetic. And.. like a huge number of people, the idea of someone chopping me open with a sharp knife and poking about in my innards is frankly nauseatingly scary. I’ve been told in no uncertain terms that there isn’t really a choice though. So I’d best get my had around the idea and fast!

What makes you feel loved?

I’ve had a rather introspective day today.  I’ve had a lot of those lately though.

My partner and I tell each other often that we love one another. We cherish each other in shall ways on a very regular, if not daily basis.

This has led to my partner telling me how loved he feels. I know what he means, I feel utterly secure and cared for, which is wonderful.

I have been thinking today about what he does that makes me feel loved, and from there pondering what I do in particular to make him feel cared for.

What is it that gives that sense of total intimacy and trust?

I’m still thinking…

In the meantime I’ve also tackled the laundry mountain today, tidied party of my daughter’s nightmare of a bedroom, been shopping, destroyed two fledgling wasp nests in my summer house, sun bathed, had coffee with a friend, cooked dinner and die trawl school runs.

About to tackle the bathroom and the ironing and then my day off from work will be done!